and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
