I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
