i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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