I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
