My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
