My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
