this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
