Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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