nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
