the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
