I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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