There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
