I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize