I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
