Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
