Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
