You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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