fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
