Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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