how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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