you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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