someone threw a dead crab at me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
