I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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