they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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