it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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