Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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