In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
