my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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