Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
