you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
