Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.

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  (301): so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first. http://tfl.nu/lqfv
  Replies (5) Good night (3249) Bad night (693)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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  (810): I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it http://tfl.nu/y92b
  Replies (81) Good night (5624) Bad night (1274)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.

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  (573): Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever. (573): I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that. http://tfl.nu/43y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5324) Bad night (661)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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  (917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo
  Replies (44) Good night (1990) Bad night (9090)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10383) Bad night (1306)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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  (250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz
  Replies (11) Good night (5261) Bad night (866)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."

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  (618): Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you." http://tfl.nu/wg5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1694) Bad night (1843)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.

  (747): View more from California

  Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.

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  (256): I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks. (747): Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either. http://tfl.nu/6mbq
  Replies (22) Good night (4019) Bad night (791)
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  (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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  (916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf
  Replies (10) Good night (644) Bad night (2009)
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  (323): View more from California

  I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward

  (213): View more from California

  There's a lil minaj in everyone

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  (323): I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward (213): There's a lil minaj in everyone http://tfl.nu/33cz
  Replies (7) Good night (1785) Bad night (826)
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  (518): View more from New York

  No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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  (518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5
  Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (630)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Yea we just broke up

  (914): View more from New York

  so do we start sexting now or later?

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  (917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o
  Replies (12) Good night (1200) Bad night (432)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made

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  (412): Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made http://tfl.nu/r5g2
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (268)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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  (732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (259)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon

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  (704): I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon http://tfl.nu/9347
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (481)

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