Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION