Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

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  (817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned. http://tfl.nu/n40z
  Replies (57) Good night (7300) Bad night (1645)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.

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  (412): im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs. http://tfl.nu/u0xf
  Replies (10) Good night (804) Bad night (4330)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

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  (785): i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up http://tfl.nu/4wl0
  Replies (10) Good night (4719) Bad night (734)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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  (407): So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves http://tfl.nu/mggy
  Replies (20) Good night (6053) Bad night (1212)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (3688)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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  (443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk
  Replies (3) Good night (2231) Bad night (849)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

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  (229): dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes http://tfl.nu/v2kt
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (1318)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.

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  (563): Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed. http://tfl.nu/cilo
  Replies (63) Good night (3317) Bad night (750)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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  (609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h
  Replies (7) Good night (1888) Bad night (672)
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  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (1144)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.

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  (469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked. http://tfl.nu/5hhs
  Replies (8) Good night (1347) Bad night (698)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2027) Bad night (303)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Agreed.

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  (610): Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises (267): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/uh2x
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (180)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party

  (226): View more from Ontario

  But the music was sooo good

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  (519): Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party (226): But the music was sooo good http://tfl.nu/zqls
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (345)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So how did it go?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.

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  (617): So how did it go? (508): I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake. http://tfl.nu/kgbf
  Replies (2) Good night (142) Bad night (201)

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