Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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  (512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt
  Replies (7) Good night (680) Bad night (1330)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.

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  (314): Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem. http://tfl.nu/kucl
  Replies (29) Good night (2130) Bad night (644)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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  (215): He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI http://tfl.nu/4msy
  Replies (30) Good night (1773) Bad night (4356)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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  (334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk
  Replies (15) Good night (12717) Bad night (728)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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  (781): I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on. http://tfl.nu/begu
  Replies (6) Good night (3830) Bad night (1004)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.

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  (970): Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking. http://tfl.nu/jhua
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (1829)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?

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  (207): Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation? http://tfl.nu/353y
  Replies (3) Good night (2088) Bad night (1343)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.

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  (312): Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/u7b7
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (496)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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  (847): being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk http://tfl.nu/qiyf
  Replies (6) Good night (1010) Bad night (469)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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  (614): It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me http://tfl.nu/sahk
  Replies (19) Good night (1849) Bad night (504)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drinking loves me for WHO I am

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  (905): Drinking loves me for WHO I am http://tfl.nu/nlm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (348)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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  (515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3
  Replies (9) Good night (649) Bad night (344)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.

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  (561): Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring. http://tfl.nu/lpoq
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (277)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

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  (616): MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! http://tfl.nu/8cgu
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (827)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (473)

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