i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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