My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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