I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
