this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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