We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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