Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
