I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Congratulations! We have a period
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