So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
