I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
