2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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