I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
