...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
