I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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