No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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