I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
