i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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