Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win