why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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