apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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