fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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