your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize