A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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