I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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