I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have feelings that need drinking.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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