Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
