I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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