i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
