Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize