sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize