He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
