remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
