At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
